


my sadness is tall

by cryystal_m00n



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Soulmates, it's not that sad, jae is depressed, they can hear each other's thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryystal_m00n/pseuds/cryystal_m00n
Summary: jae can't always be the happy virus of the group. even the happy viruses need help sometimes.





	my sadness is tall

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this bc boom im depressed again. this is just me projecting on jae bc i relate to him the most. im sorry jae, you deserve the whole world

brian passes jae his pills. he’s not allowed to take them on his own. not after what happened last time. they all understood why he did it, but he can still see the sadness behind brian’s eyes as he gives him his dose, the worry on wonpil’s face when he watches him down them in one go, the understanding on sungjin’s as he pats his back and tells him ‘good job’, the way dowoon tries not to cry when he sees the bottles. good job for staying alive another day, good job for doing something as simple as that, good job for being normal for a day. he hates it. 

he smiles at brian, shaking his head. he’s doing it again, putting himself down. he’s disappointing them again. _i’m sorry._

brian sighs, “you don’t have to apologize, hyung. you did nothing wrong.” he says as he moves to hug the elder. 

“... sorry.” he murmurs against his shoulder. brian just hugs him tighter. 

he kisses his temple, beginning to rock them back and forth, humming a soft tune under his breath. _he hates you now, jae._

“i don’t. i could never. no one hates you. we all love you and want you to be ok.” 

jae feels like crying again. he laughs, a dry sound. this is all he has been doing lately. “i forget you can hear my thoughts.” 

“we’re soulmates.” brian smiles at the idea. _i’m sorry you’re stuck with me._ “i love being your soulmate. and i’ll remind you everyday.” he kisses his temple one more time, before pulling away to turn back to the glass he had placed on the table. “now take your pills.” he gives him the glass. 

jae downs them, hating the aftertaste they have, how bitter they taste on his tongue. it’s like the sad bitter truth, his whole bitter life. he hates them both. 

brian pets his hair, a silent praise that he did well again. he hates the fact that just a silent action can make him feel better. hates how pathetic he has become. 

“you’re not pathetic and you know it.” 

the elder just hums, letting his head lean into brian’s touch. he inhales, letting the breath out slowly, trying not to let the tears fall. _i’m sorry._

“i know you are, sweetheart, i know.” brian sighs, not stopping for a moment from petting his hair. 

_i’m sorry for wanting to leave you here._

“hey now, that’s not your fault. i, we, promise we’ll be here for you when the moment comes, when you will feel better without these,” he points to the pills, “i won’t leave your side.”

jae just reaches for him, reaches for the other man as he feels himself starting to sob. he cries in his chest, cries as brian holds him, soothing hand rubbing his back. 

_i will forever be by your side,_ he hears in his head, voice loud and clear, full of honesty. 

he continues to cries, but as brian starts to hum again, he can’t help but feel the tiniest bit better. and that’s all that matters. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/cryystal_moon)   
>  [tumblr](http://cryystal-m00n.tumblr.com)   
>  [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/cryystal_moon)


End file.
